WOW...ever went to a conference and looked at everyone wondering if they had had surgery yet, cancer, or what? Well that is me for the next few days. I am at a conference for women (and even men) just like me...we are all BRCA positive. Sadly I could not help but staring at the women's chest areas wondering what kind of surgery they had and if "mine" will look that good (and in some cases BETTER)after cancer prevention surgery. It is surely something I will feel compelled to write more about later. It was emotional and I found myself sipping a glass of wine after checking in for the conference hoping to ease my anxiety...nothing takes away the fear of being BRCA positive though..NOTHING.
On a different note, I had set myself some pretty high goals prior to surgery, 3 bike "races" and 3 tris. I have successfully completed two bike races (2nd overall female in one and the other no one counts places) and 2 tris (2nd and 3rd place age group respectively). I have one more bike race July 10 and July 17 one more tri...then July 27 is my surgery and I will have to take some time off from anything. I will be one crabby girl for sure!
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Some days are easier than others
Do you ever wake up some days and it seems as the day goes on things just turn to #$%&? I had a day like that Monday. My day started off with a GREAT swim! I said goodbyes to the kids and my hubby and then it went downhill...
I read some scary posts on FORCE..a web site with message boards for people who also have the BRCA mutations. It seemed one poor gal did everything she could to prevent cancer by surgeries but still got cancer. :( After that I attended a tumor board for work and heard about another really sad case. As I am driving down the road crying and feeling sorry for myself my friend calls to tell me she has to have an emergency mammogram because she found a lump...I finished up work and went home and slept...felt like the only way to deal with it...block it out.
Today was much better. I decided first thing I would be more positive and focus on the positive of the day and my life. I was asked to speak with another mom who just found out she is BRCA positive. I stared at the number and asked myself how I could help her when I barely feel like I am help myself deal with this some days and then I realized helping her will help me. I plan to call her tomorrow.
I had a great run after work and then enjoyed time at church for Fat Tuesday with my family.
Life is challenging and attitude is everything!!
I read some scary posts on FORCE..a web site with message boards for people who also have the BRCA mutations. It seemed one poor gal did everything she could to prevent cancer by surgeries but still got cancer. :( After that I attended a tumor board for work and heard about another really sad case. As I am driving down the road crying and feeling sorry for myself my friend calls to tell me she has to have an emergency mammogram because she found a lump...I finished up work and went home and slept...felt like the only way to deal with it...block it out.
Today was much better. I decided first thing I would be more positive and focus on the positive of the day and my life. I was asked to speak with another mom who just found out she is BRCA positive. I stared at the number and asked myself how I could help her when I barely feel like I am help myself deal with this some days and then I realized helping her will help me. I plan to call her tomorrow.
I had a great run after work and then enjoyed time at church for Fat Tuesday with my family.
Life is challenging and attitude is everything!!
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Two years later...
WOW. I have not blogged in two years...can you tell I am a working mom and not a stay-at-home mom who has time to blog? No insult to my stay-at-home mom buddies but you do have more time during the day I truly believe.
So many updates!!!!!!!! So we have moved back to Blacksburg, Va, I have completed two more triathlons since I started this adventure, I hired a tri coach to get me to be a better swimmer, my kids are 7 and 5, I have been very happily married for 10 years and the biggest shocker....I am BRCA2 positive and will be going through a PBM late this summer. Yeah, that part sucks...really sucks and is quite depressing.
I have really enjoyed being back in the mountains. I love the area, the biking here and just the over all feeling of living in a college town.
My plans are to work with a coach this tri season and make it my best so far while also balancing work and my kids and their activities! I plan to do 2 sprints and in July attempt my first full tri.
Later this summer I will have a PBM to reduce my risk of ever getting cancer. Some time in my 40s I will have my ovaries removed....this part terrifies me the most. I don't mind getting a new set of boobs so much but the ovaries going bye bye is very depressing to me.
So my goal is to blog a little more this season but honestly it won't be a priority as my priorities go like this: God, family, training and work...then blogging. :)
So many updates!!!!!!!! So we have moved back to Blacksburg, Va, I have completed two more triathlons since I started this adventure, I hired a tri coach to get me to be a better swimmer, my kids are 7 and 5, I have been very happily married for 10 years and the biggest shocker....I am BRCA2 positive and will be going through a PBM late this summer. Yeah, that part sucks...really sucks and is quite depressing.
I have really enjoyed being back in the mountains. I love the area, the biking here and just the over all feeling of living in a college town.
My plans are to work with a coach this tri season and make it my best so far while also balancing work and my kids and their activities! I plan to do 2 sprints and in July attempt my first full tri.
Later this summer I will have a PBM to reduce my risk of ever getting cancer. Some time in my 40s I will have my ovaries removed....this part terrifies me the most. I don't mind getting a new set of boobs so much but the ovaries going bye bye is very depressing to me.
So my goal is to blog a little more this season but honestly it won't be a priority as my priorities go like this: God, family, training and work...then blogging. :)
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Here is another blog...yes THREE months later!!
So since my last blog I have celebrated a wonderful Christmas, celebrated my daughter's 3rd birthday and my husband's birthday, swam my first 1000m in the pool and lost my wonderful part time job.
So what else is new you may ask??? Life is actually quite good. We had a wonderful Christmas and Allison's 3rd birthday was a hit for her at The Jumpin Monkey. We had a "huge" snow for Greenville, NC. Of course Dylan's response to this was "Told you it WOULD snow here Mom..you were wrong!!". This was due to the fact that I told them unlike in Blacksburg, VA we would never get enough snow to use our snow suits here. The kids did not get on the sled b/c it is flat as a pancake here but they did make snowballs, etc. Dylan did ask for Grandma Judy's snow cream too!
My husband and I laughed as people "freaked out" here over 3-4" of snow...but hey, at least I got two days off of work.
Ahh..work..another subject to discuss. I found out of Jan 31 that my "perfect" part time job was gone. I had the absolute joy of working part time for six years but now I am unemployed. I am partly to blame for opting to tell them I would only work part time for them and not consider any full time jobs that I could be offered but it just made sense for our family and I did get a nice severance package. Now I am trying to decide what to do!! Do I go back to school and get my RN degree to offer us more job security? Do I pursue my passion of fitness and become a personal trainer? Do I get back into marketing/pr? Do I stay home..answer is probably no to this but never say never never! Ideally I would like to work part time from home or as a pers. trainer some each week. I have enjoyed more time with the kids and being able to clean up the house cook,etc. Most of all I have enjoyed my endless time to work out! :-)
Which the working out is progressing quite well with no job and the kids in daycare! I swam my first 1000m straight thru just last week. I have improved so much since my last blog. I enjoy swimming and it has been such a great workout for me! It is truly a sport that I can see results the more I practice!
So this may be it for another three months but who knows..I do have some time now!
So what else is new you may ask??? Life is actually quite good. We had a wonderful Christmas and Allison's 3rd birthday was a hit for her at The Jumpin Monkey. We had a "huge" snow for Greenville, NC. Of course Dylan's response to this was "Told you it WOULD snow here Mom..you were wrong!!". This was due to the fact that I told them unlike in Blacksburg, VA we would never get enough snow to use our snow suits here. The kids did not get on the sled b/c it is flat as a pancake here but they did make snowballs, etc. Dylan did ask for Grandma Judy's snow cream too!
My husband and I laughed as people "freaked out" here over 3-4" of snow...but hey, at least I got two days off of work.
Ahh..work..another subject to discuss. I found out of Jan 31 that my "perfect" part time job was gone. I had the absolute joy of working part time for six years but now I am unemployed. I am partly to blame for opting to tell them I would only work part time for them and not consider any full time jobs that I could be offered but it just made sense for our family and I did get a nice severance package. Now I am trying to decide what to do!! Do I go back to school and get my RN degree to offer us more job security? Do I pursue my passion of fitness and become a personal trainer? Do I get back into marketing/pr? Do I stay home..answer is probably no to this but never say never never! Ideally I would like to work part time from home or as a pers. trainer some each week. I have enjoyed more time with the kids and being able to clean up the house cook,etc. Most of all I have enjoyed my endless time to work out! :-)
Which the working out is progressing quite well with no job and the kids in daycare! I swam my first 1000m straight thru just last week. I have improved so much since my last blog. I enjoy swimming and it has been such a great workout for me! It is truly a sport that I can see results the more I practice!
So this may be it for another three months but who knows..I do have some time now!
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Triathlon Training
I am currently recovering from a foot injury and 3.5 weeks off of running. I ran 3 miles today and my foot felt better but 3 miles felt like 6 miles! My swimming is really improving. My endurance is very slowly getting there but my form and ability to correct my techniques is growing. My past two swims has left me feeling more confident about a triathlon this spring. The wind and cold have taken an toll on my biking but I hope to get out Friday for 25-30 and follow that up Sunday with a 40 mile charity event.
My current biggest challenge is trying to keep motivated and not "hibernate" on these cold mornings. I bailed on my friend Rebecca Monday so I HAD to meet her this morning and it felt great. The plan is to get up Thursday and try a 4 mile run. We'll see....
My current biggest challenge is trying to keep motivated and not "hibernate" on these cold mornings. I bailed on my friend Rebecca Monday so I HAD to meet her this morning and it felt great. The plan is to get up Thursday and try a 4 mile run. We'll see....
Do Kids Grow Horns During the Holidays? :-)
So I have successfully made it home with my family from a 10.5 hour trip to Florida to visit my husband's family for the week of Thanksgiving. Mike and I feel that all in all the kids behaved pretty well and did pretty good in the car for such a long trip.
Now the stress begin...we come home late Friday and start decorating for Christmas on Saturday. Dylan has a huge fascination with gifts and even unwrapping them or telling his sister to unwrap gifts that are not even his. He is continuously asking where all of his presents are b/c he can read some words and especially his name. I want to say "hidden my son b/c otherwise you would open them!" but I just tell him we have some for him somewhere.
Once we start decorating the tree even more craziness begins. Mike and I try to be patient and hope this is a time the kids will remember as fun. The tree is creatively decorated by the kids with ornaments they like all grouped on one limb and nothing is decorated above a toddler's reach of course! We finish up the tree together as Mike and I do reach up to decorate the bare part of the tree and add some breakable ornaments and keepsakes from our first year of marriage. Then the it all starts with each little hand craftily going to the tree to take off their favorite ornament and move it, touch it, play with it anything other than what the parents feel is good. If you have a toddler you know just what I am talking about! The wonderful Christmas music has to compete with constant thumps as ornaments hit the hardwood floor and you grimace as you wonder if it was a breakable one "this time".
We put the tree up Sunday and each day there has been some kind of fight about putting ornaments back on, not playing with breakable things, you name it! I guess it is like a candy shop or shop with all items that say not to touch...but you just have to...
Today is Tuesday and it has topped all days for making me feel that the Holiday season has turned my children into little devils. It starts when I pick them up from school. Dylan refuses to listen to me or his teacher, somehow his friends seem to know what is best and this continues all the way to the car. It is a little hard to yell at preschool in front of other parents so I give my "mean look" but it does not work......Allison starts on the way home with a fight over not getting to talk on the cell phone b/c Dylan has dropped it between the seats and she "really, really" wanted to talk to HER Daddy. The fight continues in the house as someone is pushing and someone is crying. I decide it is not worth cooking...even though I did a full week of meal planning and shopping (yeah for me!) so I proceed to order pizza on line. My husband has conveniently gone outside to hang even more Christmas stuff? I will give him credit for asking the kids ONCE if they wanted to come with him. While I am ordering pizza Allison has decided to color the walls, white moulding around our windows and refrigerator HOT PINK. This is truly the point where you lose it as a Mom. My husband comes in and I conveniently decide to go upstairs to order Christmas cards. I hear lots of yelling even then but try to block it out and design the card of the "perfect" family. :-) At least when our friends get the cards they don't get a recording of what we said to get the kids to sit still and smile so one photo of 30 might be "the one". Nope, they just smiling faces.. :-)
It is now 8:40 and I put the kids down at 8pm. I think I have yelled or made no toy threats at least 10 times. Once it is quiet I will relax, go to bed and wake up anxious to see my little angels in the morning and know that somehow they grow horns during the day or at least the busy days leading up to the holidays!
Now the stress begin...we come home late Friday and start decorating for Christmas on Saturday. Dylan has a huge fascination with gifts and even unwrapping them or telling his sister to unwrap gifts that are not even his. He is continuously asking where all of his presents are b/c he can read some words and especially his name. I want to say "hidden my son b/c otherwise you would open them!" but I just tell him we have some for him somewhere.
Once we start decorating the tree even more craziness begins. Mike and I try to be patient and hope this is a time the kids will remember as fun. The tree is creatively decorated by the kids with ornaments they like all grouped on one limb and nothing is decorated above a toddler's reach of course! We finish up the tree together as Mike and I do reach up to decorate the bare part of the tree and add some breakable ornaments and keepsakes from our first year of marriage. Then the it all starts with each little hand craftily going to the tree to take off their favorite ornament and move it, touch it, play with it anything other than what the parents feel is good. If you have a toddler you know just what I am talking about! The wonderful Christmas music has to compete with constant thumps as ornaments hit the hardwood floor and you grimace as you wonder if it was a breakable one "this time".
We put the tree up Sunday and each day there has been some kind of fight about putting ornaments back on, not playing with breakable things, you name it! I guess it is like a candy shop or shop with all items that say not to touch...but you just have to...
Today is Tuesday and it has topped all days for making me feel that the Holiday season has turned my children into little devils. It starts when I pick them up from school. Dylan refuses to listen to me or his teacher, somehow his friends seem to know what is best and this continues all the way to the car. It is a little hard to yell at preschool in front of other parents so I give my "mean look" but it does not work......Allison starts on the way home with a fight over not getting to talk on the cell phone b/c Dylan has dropped it between the seats and she "really, really" wanted to talk to HER Daddy. The fight continues in the house as someone is pushing and someone is crying. I decide it is not worth cooking...even though I did a full week of meal planning and shopping (yeah for me!) so I proceed to order pizza on line. My husband has conveniently gone outside to hang even more Christmas stuff? I will give him credit for asking the kids ONCE if they wanted to come with him. While I am ordering pizza Allison has decided to color the walls, white moulding around our windows and refrigerator HOT PINK. This is truly the point where you lose it as a Mom. My husband comes in and I conveniently decide to go upstairs to order Christmas cards. I hear lots of yelling even then but try to block it out and design the card of the "perfect" family. :-) At least when our friends get the cards they don't get a recording of what we said to get the kids to sit still and smile so one photo of 30 might be "the one". Nope, they just smiling faces.. :-)
It is now 8:40 and I put the kids down at 8pm. I think I have yelled or made no toy threats at least 10 times. Once it is quiet I will relax, go to bed and wake up anxious to see my little angels in the morning and know that somehow they grow horns during the day or at least the busy days leading up to the holidays!
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Weekend back to Blacksburg, Va
So I had my first visit back to Blacksburg, Va....home of the HOKIES!! These pics are obviously not from this weekend but do represent a lot of what I think of when I think of the "home" I left...good friends, good bike rides and good mountains!! Luckily I brought my GREAT husband with me to NC and my kids too!
It was weekend trip with me and the kids since Mike was at a wedding of an old friend. Wow, what a world wind weekend but soooo much fun! I was able to see lots of old friends and even get in a 25 mile bike ride (with some climbs...yeah!) and a 30 min swim. I don't think my best friends Ali and Christie quite believed me when I told them I was starting from scratch until they actually saw me attempt to swim laps.
The kids did great for 5 hours there and back. We stayed with my wonderful friend Susan on Saturday and she has 3 kids. What a blast that was for the kids! Makes me wish she and I had done more together with our kids while I lived there!
I truly miss Blacksburg and hope to move back there or to the mountains one day. I am okay with living here but I think my heart is to live in the mountains. I find peace and serenity in the beauty of the mountains and even though it hurts like HE** I love to climb those mountains on my bike! Greenville is a two year commitment and that is how Mike and I have agreed to view it. In August of 2010 we'll reevaluate our situation and maybe make a move.. Who know with Obama in office we may have to move sooner.
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